Food Total: 1944 cals
My dear, sweet, prince-for-a-husband and I have been doing so remarkably well during this move--until last night when we were trying to get the study put together.
I KNOW I was being snippy. I can excuse it by saying I was completely exhausted and emotionally drained, but the truth is when it comes to the one person in the world who stands beside you and supports you every single day of your life, there is never an acceptable reason to treat that person poorly. NEVER. I kept apologizing and I kept right on being a to him (and my sweet, loving son). We finally just went to bed and gave up. I have only been like that one other time in our relationship, so it is easy to forgive (I suppose); but I sure feel crappy about it today. He wasn't exactly on his best behavior yesterday, either.
Today is a new day and all is well. We are about 75% settled. The house in Dallas has had one or two showings every day. The house in Houston will have it's second showing this morning. Both houses show very well so something should happen soon now that school is out.
Update: Today has been a weird food day. I have been very hungry most of the day. I had a second lunch because I was hungry. I was driving by all the fast food places on my way back to the office and I was thinking ""Mmm, double cheeseburger and french fries..." but then I would remember how bad they make me feel and how all that sodium would be with me for days and I just kept on driving.
I want a greasy, salty cheeseburger but my body can't take it. I know I haven't been eating well for about a week now and I'm sure that greasy cheeseburger craving is a result of not treating my body well. We plan on going to the grocery store tonight, so that should help get my eating back on track. I want to go to the gym tonight, but I'm not sure our home is in good enough shape to start that back up, and I am still farily tired. I am not 20 anymore and I do not bounce back as quickly as I did 10 years ago. I must remember this. My life should return to pre-layoff schedule after I return from Atlanta on the 19th. Until then, it will still be pretty intense. I can make it. Three more weeks of intensity and it will settle down.
****************
It looks like I only lost 6 lbs this month? I can't tell because of the scale switch and I didn't get to weigh in for a while. I don't care. June will be better!
Food Total: 2096 cals
OMG. I hurt everywhere. I haven't worked this hard in a year. I am exhausted. I need a holiday.
Update: I decided to attempt to log my food for the past few days. I thought I had gone over calories, but it appears as thought I was way under. That is a little disturbing to me, especially since I was SO active for three days in a row. I hope I didn't do anything bad to my body. I very, very vigorously cleaned the houston house for four hours straight yesterday without stopping and I only ate 1500 calories. Then two days before was moving day so I loaded then unloaded a moving truck Friday and Saturday, and it looks like the calories weren't nearly high enough, either. I know Sunday was a little high, though. And the activity level wasn't as high as the other two days, although still pretty busy.
I'm not sure when I'll make it to the gym to weigh myself. I can't even fathom going to the gym today. I'm not even too sure about tomorrow. Perhaps Thursday? I didn't get to check in on Saturday, of course, so I missed my first check in, ever. Hopefully my last, too.
The appliances in the new house were GROSS!!! I spent all evening cleaning them, and the shower. WITH NO RUNNING WATER. I guess the owner didn't bother to get the water turned on. That was interesting. Funny how you take things, like clean running water, for granted.
So, the appliances are clean and the shower--not clean enough. But, cleaning that properly really does require water. At least it is (barely) clean enough for me to use tomorrow after the move.
Hubby called and said that it looks like the lady we hired to clean our house in Houston flaked out on us. I asked to leave early today so that we can get that done. She was supposed to help us finish packing and then clean. She is an unemployed cashier and has no furniture for the apartment she shares with a stranger and she doesn't want to work 6 - 8 hours for $150? Whatever. I'll never be able to figure out people like that. It's okay, though. Prince Charming and I will do the work then go blow the cleaning money at a fancy restaurant and drink an expensive bottle of wine when we get settled.
I am, for the most part, moved out of the roach motel. There is just a little bit of food left. Looking forward to tomoroow!!!!
Ugh! I forgot to turn the alarm clock on last night. I woke up promptly at 6:30 (like I have for years) and had to scramble to be out the door by 7:15. I didn't get to eat breakfast so I am consuming-gasp-a blueberry scone from Starbucks along with my non-fat iced mocha. It comes in somewhere around a cool 700-800 calories. YIKES.
One more day of Starbucks left then my prince charming will once again have the honor of preparing my morning coffee. He makes the best coffee in the universe. And it is comparatively low-cal.So, I got the keys to the house last night, emptied out storage, got most of my excess crap out of the hotel, and stocked the fridge with bottled water and beer for moving day. I am very excited about moving back into a "normal" sub-division, and a much smaller house. So is my son, it seems. One more day of Homestead Suites and it all becomes a bad memory.....
Will I make it to the gym tonight? Hmmm.
Update: It seems I have another lesson to learn in the healthy living realm. I have been out to eat two or three times this week. I won't be able to bring my lunch on most days because I will be onsite and clients will be taking me out to lunch or I will be eating out during lunch and coming back to the client site. I had Viet Namese today. Now, how many calories are in grilled pork, vermicelli, and shredded lettuce and carrots? I'm not sure, probably not too many, but the sodium content is OUT OF THIS WORLD!!! I am sooooo thirsty right now.
So, I will need to learn how to do this healthfully and gracefully. My slacks are too tight now and they weren't this morning. I feel like I ate a little too much, but not like I used to. I'm not stuffed, but I ate more than I needed. I will have to get this under control. This will be a very difficult skill to master, but I can (and have to) do it. there are plenty of "Road Warriors" out there who maintain a perfectly normal weight. If it can be done (which I know it CAN), I can figure out how to do it.
This week has been pretty great, so far. Monday night one of my old colleagues called me and said he was in town. So, I met up with him and had a few drinks. We had a great time and it was nice to catch up. Yesterday I was on-site all day long. I love being on-site with clients. Then, last night one of my new colleagues invited me to go along with he and his wife to his church's showing of the Da Vinci Code. The movie was horrible, but I enjoyed the company. All three of us were pretty bored with it.
I finally made it to the gym yesterday and weighed in. I only lost just over 1 lb. since the week before. I was expecting just a little more, but I was not in any way discouraged by it. Despite everything that is going on in my life, I am sticking to my lifestyle changes and I am still losing weight. I am happy about that. I plan on going back to the gym tonight after I eat and get the keys to the new house. Unless I decide to clear out storage, instead. Either way I will be moving my body, though. We'll see how it turns out.
I will be going on-site later today and all day tomorrow. I am very happy about that. I almost forgot how much I love this line of work. Hopefully, this will be a permanent career for me. I am so very well suited for it.
Update: I am sooo excited. I will get to go to Atlanta for a week on June 5th to begin a very looooong technical writing project for one of our best clients. Yay! I get to use my writing minor in a professional capacity. I've written other technical documents for businesses, but not to this extent. I can't wait. They are paying for 120 hours of work. Wooohooo.
What a weekend. Very productive and a ton of work. I got up in plenty of time for the gym this morning, but I hurt EVERYWHERE so I decided to give my body time to heal from the weekend. I got back in bed after breakfast and watched the news. That was rather nice, actually. Very relaxing after the crazy-busy weekend.
Almost everything we own is in our garage ready to get loaded on to the truck on Saturday. We really did awesome on meeting our goals. I think there are 6 pieces of furniture (including mattresses) in the house. We will get that out early Saturday morning before we get the truck. I'm hoping this will all go well-and quickly. I'd like to enjoy the three-day weekend to some extent.
I didn't do so good on the food this weekend, I think. It's hard to say for sure. We were packing, lifting, moving, cleaning for like 18 hours without much rest time. I did the math in my head while I was driving last night and I probably burned an easy 3000 calories. So, maybe I didn't do so bad. I really tried to listen to my body. Well, except for the small french fries last night. They made me sick. I knew they would, but I thought that maybe a small wouldn't. Yeah, right.
Better get back to work.
Update: Boy, am I hungry today. I just can't seem to get enough to eat...
More: But I did not eat anthing that wasn't already planned! Dinner will just be a bit early today.
I am going onsite with two co-workers tomorrow. We are meeting at Starbuck's at 8:30. I will get to have a really long workout tomorrow morning. I usually have to be at work by 8 and Starbuck's is a lot closer than work. Probably won't have to leave the gym until 8:15. I usually leave at 7:15. Woohoo. An extra hour at the gym and coffee with colleagues. My kinda day!
Oh My Goodness. I have been going going going going since 10:00am this morning. I am just now getting a break and it is 11:30pm. I am exhausted.
I slept very well last night and I am feeling more composed--finally.
I haven't been able to weigh myself this week, but I did take my measurements today for check in and recorded last week's weight. I was down another 1/2 inch. I'll take it due to this weeks lack of exercise. I'm expecting about a 1.5 lb. loss on Monday morning, but we will see.
Off to bed for me. Tomorrow will be just as busy except I have to head back to San Antonio about 4 or 5. The packing is coming along nicely, I think.
Nope. I didn't make it. I went, again. The parking lot drove me away, again. I decided to just throw in the towel this week. No intentional exercise. At. All. None. This is the first time in over three whole months! I have now gone seven days in a row without the gym.
I still haven't slept for shit, either. This probably has a huge affect on the above mentioned "issue." I don't like crowds and I suspect I like them even less under these conditions. I almost started to cry yesterday because the school lost a fax. WTF? Definitely need sleep.
I am very much looking forward to my bed, my husband, and my son this evening. I feel like a zombie. I can't get enough caffeine.
Since I didn't go to the gym, I decided to go out to eat, instead. Yeah, that was a great idea. What was I thinking? It was horrible. It was salty. It was greasy. My wedding ring actually stays on my finger today because I am so bloated. I've been wearing it on my thumb. I think I stayed within calories yesterday, though. For whatever that is worth. Not much from my perspective at this point.
They are ordering pizza for lunch today. I think I will barf if I eat pizza today. Besides, I have to get the fridge in the house during lunch. I'll get something a little lighter on the tummy while I am out. Maybe a smoothie or a grilled chicken wrap from Sonic.
Update: 5 cups of coffe later (maybe more?), and after wrestling with a refrigerator for about 10 minutes, I am feeling better. I ate the pizza. They ordered veggie pizza for me, so I felt obligated. What does more bloat matter, anyway? Can I even get more bloated than I am right now? I doubt it. I feel like I can take on the world again (which is my normal emotional state). Although, I'm not exactly feeling bouncy.
Judy...you always make me smile. :kiss:
I've been thinking about my emotional state these past few days. I am a "wreck" because I no longer have a sactuary. The one in Houston is all boxed up and very empty-feeling. The one in Dallas hasn't been home for a while. The one here in San Antonio...well I don't even have the keys, yet. I have to have a sanctuary. Absolutely required. I am not okay without one--hence my emotional state lately. I was okay the first week because I was too busy to think about it. That was my plan, you know? To stay too busy to think about it.
This week, I just can't stay going. And I can't sleep. To keep on going and going and going like the energizer bunny requires energy, that gets renewed by sleeping. No sleep=no energizing. That wrecks my whole plan. My plan is gone, and now I am not coping well.
And I know why I am not sleeping. My body is not exhausted and my mind is wound up like a giant top. Usually, by the time I am ready for bed, I have completely exhausted my body and it is sooo ready for a good rest, that my mind can't keep it awake. All I've been doing this week is sitting in my depressing hotel room in the evening watching TV, eating my frozen dinner. I hate TV. I hate frozen dinners. I'm not sure which one I hate more.
I also tried to go shopping at Lane Bryant last night. I really have nothing nice to say beyond this point, so if you like the clothing there you better skip the rest of this paragraph. What kind of fat woman would actually wear some of the clothes at LB out in public? I'm sorry, but a woman with large breasts, who wears a size over 20 (maybe even smaller) should not be wearing backless, strapless, halter tops that tie around the neck with a size 26 dasie duke. Ewwww! Do they think they look cute, or hot, or "phat" with all their rolls hanging out? OMG. I don't know if I should be offended, insulted, grossed-out, or all of the above. So, you try Avenue. That was lame. Catherine's? Uh, big fat "no" there...I'm not old enough. And don't even get me started on bras. I see sweat pants, t-shirts and sports bras in my immediate future.
It's like a downward spiral. One thing causes the other which reinforces the first thing, and onward down she goes. Tomorrow is a new day. I will sleep well in my own bed tonight. I will work hard all day tomorrow and Sunday on the house. I will leave for SA early, get to bed early, and GET MY ASS TO THE GYM MONDAY MORNING...come hell, or high water.
This is how it must be or I will find myself crying over a yellow traffic light next week. We will be moving next weekend and this will be over. My crappy hotel room will just be a bad memory. The dead super-cocroach that occuped my room with me for 5 days will be forgotten. Three weeks on Lean Cuisine will be blocked from my memory as it will be too traumatic to recall. And they all will live happily ever-after in Cinderella-land.
I have not been sleeping well all week. I have not been to the gym since Friday morning. I am trying to get everything together here for our move. I am feeling the stress and I have not felt that in a long time. I'm sure if I actually got myself to the gym that I wouldn't feel stressed anymore.
I almost made it to the gym after work yesterday. However, the parking lot was absolutely packed and I just didn't feel like dealing with that many people so I went and got the car serviced, instead, then went back to my room.
I couldn't sleep last night (again) and I was thinking about my clothes--probably because they were right there in front of me--18" from the foot of the bed. My 20's (slacks) have a good inch or two of space in them so I thought that I would try on the 16's I had hanging in the closet. I got them on. Now, I think I may have pulled a muscle "sucking it in," but I got them on over my ass and got them buttoned and zipped. I seriously couldn't believe it. In fact, I may still be in shock. That effectively renewed my motivation and I am going to the gym tonight, no matter how packed it is. Three months ago I wouldn't have been able to even get them over my knees!
Despite the lack of intentional exercise, I have been eating well and I believe I have been staying within my calorie limits--maybe even slightly under.
Everything seems to be coming together quite nicely for the move. I got approval from the management company to get the refrigerator put in the house tomorrow. I just dropped off the application for my son's school and got the cash to pay for the fridge. My hubby scheduled the sheetrock repair people to come to the house to repair the holes I put in the walls for the drapes I hung. Our moving truck is reserved. Most of our house is boxed up. My car has fresh oil, rotated tires, and a full tank of gas. Are the planets and moons all coming into alignment this week? It feels like they ought to be. LOL.
Now, if I could just get a good nights sleep!
I just can't seem to make it to the gym this week. Geez. Wassup with that mess? I have nothing to do tonight, except go to the gym. So, I am going.
The refrigerator was a little bit of a let-down. I was expecting something a little nicer for the asking price. I told her that it was over-priced and she asked me what I was willing to pay for it. I said $500, but that we really wanted a nicer fridge. So hubby and I talked it over and decided that, since we are just renting this house, the $500 not as nice fridge would be good for us. He's right. He balances me out so well. It is in perfect condition, it just didn't have some of the features we were wanting and doesn't look as nice as the new ones. But, the features are in the brand new $1,400 model....I don't want to spend that much. Compromise is key.
A couple of weeks ago I wrote about a large financial risk I was taking. That is still in progress and there are no end-results to report. However, we did get a large, completely unexpected, lump-sum payment from social security this morning. Which also resolves another (smaller) financial drain on our resources. I can effectively call this a Praise Report. God has always provided for me. I will update as the financial risk resolves itself for those of you who are curiously following this.
It looks like I will get to do my first solo consulting job this week. YAHOOOOOOO.
Update: My dad checked out the current state of our rental property. He said the yard is demolished. The garage smells like dog poo, and the back door is chewed up. Nice.
I knew the yard was a mess but I had hoped the tenants would fix it. I hope their deposit is enough to cover the cost of repairs. I told my realtor to make it unavailable for showings until we can get the smell out of the garage. I know I wouldn't want to rent (or buy) a house that smelled like dog sh!t. Oh the joys of being a landlord!!!
My dad offered to start working on the repairs but I told him the only way I would allow that is if he accepted compensation for them. He won't. I think he will do the repairs, anyway. I know his wife will take my money (well, really it's my tenant's money) so I told her to keep track of the time they both spend over there and I would pay her "behind his back." He knows I will do that, anyway. I think it makes him feel macho and independent to tell me he won't accept payment. He's weird like that. Men.
I accidentally set the alarm to 5pm last night. Needless to say I didn't make it to the gym. I AM GOING TONIGHT AFTER WORK. It is supposed to be a really nice day and I am hoping to lounge by the pool after my workout.
I turned 30 today. I don't feel special, really. It is just a Tuesday. I guess I am happy I am out of my 20's. I've been trying to get to my 30's forever because that seems to be the age where you are actually considered an adult and professionally it is a good age to be. I am happy about that, at least.
I bought ben and jerry's fudge brownie chunk in place of my birthday cake. I had a little last night and didn't care much for it. That used to be my most favorite ice cream in the universe. That sucks. I think it kept me up half the night, too. That makes it suck even more. I may throw it away tonight.
Work is going VERY well. I am supposed to get my birthday off, but that is not appropriate and I don't want to have a day off without my family around to enjoy it with me. My manager approved it to be a floating holiday for me to use when my family gets out here. I can't use any PTO until I have reached the end of my probation period, but this day is an exception.
Well, back to work.
Update: Since going lowfat, high protein and high fiber, my system has slowed down considerably. Or, maybe it is because I am 30 now. LOL. I guess it really isn't funny, or comfortable. This sucks, too.
I am going to go look at a refrigerator that is for sale after work. I still plan on going to the gym after that, though. I need to find an ATM so I can have access to cash if I decide to buy it. Hope she'll be willing to hold it and just take a deposit. I'm not going to give her all the $$$ for it to just sit in her house for two weeks. She could sell it to someone else in those two weeks and I'd be out my cash. We'll see.
Well, back at work today. I didn't go to the gym this morning because I was acting like a retard yesterday while working out in the yard. I was using the big flat-edged shovel out in the flower beds bare footed. Have I completely lost my mind? Probably not as I have never exactly engaged my brain while working out in the yard. I do stupid things like that every single spring. My feet are very upset with me and I didn't even want to try to get on treadmill this morning. I'm not sure, but the bottoms of my feet could be bruised. They feel like it.
And my reason: I only had my nice, new, expensive gym shoes with me and I didn't want to get them dirty.
What a dork.
I have to go to the storage unit after work today and unload the car. Then I have to go re-stock the hotel with food and fresh fruit and veggies. I won't go the gym tonight, either. I will go tomorrow morning...if my feet approve, or not. I could always just do weights then hit the showers. Maybe even the stationary bike. That shouldn't hurt too bad.
I was in my first Monday meeting today. Someone was fired last week and they discussed the reasons why that person was terminated. Apparently, that person was complaining to everyone, except the person that could actually do something to fix it, and management made it very clear that they want people to be happy here and if they are not, they need to talk to those who can fix it...not everyone else. And, if you are not still not happy, then maybe this isn't the right place. I was pretty impressed with that. They only want people here who enjoy their work. I want to work in a place where everyone enjoys what they are doing. That would be a big, fat welcome change from what I have been through the pass few years.
I have decided to forgo logging my food in CK this week. I have a book I am recording my meals in and will log it at the end of the week. I have to be able to do the right things without the crutch of CK to keep me in line. I will start traveling soon and will not have the ability to plan my meals or to check out my calories beforehand. I must learn to do this. So, this is my test week. Last week I was way under calories and I didn't log until the end of the day. Now I am going to do it at the end of a week and check myself. If it works out well, I will keep this up for about 6 weeks and re-evaluate. If I am still doing well, I will quick tracking and trust my own judgement until I stall ot start to gain.
Food Total: 2019 cals
We just got back from running way too many errands. I got my new glasses today and, I must say, they look pretty danged good on me. Even my son said something.
We all went to the grocery store together. We haven't done that in forever. I think it is time I start teaching my son how to buy food. He is 8 now and is very interested in all things culinary. He picked out his own juice for his school lunches and I told him the only requirement is that it cannot contain HFCS as one of the first 5 ingredients. It was very entertaining watching him reading labels. My hubby and I enjoyed it very much. He picked out grape juice at first and I asked him how many calories it had. It was like 240...he said "WHAT! That's not going to work." LOL. I was just smiling. I didn't put any calorie restrictions on it. He did that all by himself. He settled on Orange Juice at 150 calories. He is a good boy, interested in his health, and very smart. I hope he will make a very good citizen, husband, and father one day! All signs point to yes right now. Now, if I can only keep that momentum going through adolescence....
Soooooooo, I am down 3.4 lbs since Monday at 5:30am. I measured myself today and have shrank 1.5 inches this week. Very, very nice. I'd like to keep that momentum up for the next two weeks and then settle back into my regular routine after the move.
I absolutely refuse to abandon my lifestyle changes during this time of transition in my life!!!!I seriously don't know how much weight I have really lost, since I have changed scales three times now, but I am convinced it is over 40 lbs. I still have a ways to go to get to a healthy weight and I will not gain any weight because of change. Fuck that!
Update: I just noticed that today marks the end of my first thirteen week period of weightloss. I thought I would post my goal chart below to remind myself:
Period 1 Ending Weight: 310 Target Date: 05/13/06 Achieved Date: 03/30/06
Period 2 Ending Weight: 284 Target Date: 08/12/06 Achieved Date:
Period 3 Ending Weight: 258 Target Date: 11/11/06 Achieved Date:
Period 4 Ending Weight: 232 Target Date: 02/10/07 Achieved Date:
Period 5 Ending Weight: 206 Target Date: 05/12/07 Achieved Date:
Period 6 Ending Weight: 180 Target Date: 08/11/07 Achieved Date:
According to my goal chart, I wanted to be at 310 by the end of my first 13 week period. I am down an additional 12.1 pounds pass my goal as of today. I am scheduled to meet my next mini goal of 284 mid-August. I think I will make it by mid-June. I am 1/6th of the way through my weight loss "program." I hope to be 1/3rd a month from today. That would be nice. It is also up for debate if I should even really weight as little as 180. But, we will see. I'm going to let my body tell me.
Food Total: 2366 cals
Exercise Minutes: 45 mins
The scale wavered between 298 and 297.9 this morning. Today finishes up my first week of work. I am really enjoying it. I took a mandatory personality profile yesterday and spoke to someone today about it. He said that my most dominant traits (in order) are patience, extroversion, a desire to do what is right and to do things the right way, and that I am very intuitive. The only thing that surprised me there was that patience came before my extrovert tendencies. He also told me that conformity and routine were high on the list and I told him that was completely inaccurate.
It was very interesting, though. He told me that I like to have my expectations very clearly defined and that I work hard to meet them. I initially disagreed that I like things clearly defined beause just pointing me in the right direction is usually fine by me, but then I thought about all the vague questions I am EVER asked and that I can't answer the question unless is it precise because I am afraid of giving the wrong answer....I guess the profile was accurate afterall. LOL. He also said that on a scale of 0 to 7, my energy level ranks at a 5.3. Most people rank in the 2 to 3 range. No shock there, either. I swear I am like Tigger.
So my mentor at work told me that they are going to put me in upgrades initially. That is a nice safe place to start because these people are already using the system and won't ask me very detailed questions about it. I suspect I will learn more from them than they will from me. But I think it is a perfect place to start. They have a ton of upgrades in the queue. That is all on-site work, which is even better for me. I LOVE LOVE LOVE being on-site.
I will get to sleep in my own bed tonight with my prince charming cuddling up behind me. I can't wait.
Food Total: 1921 cals
Didn't make it in to the gym at 5:00AM this morning--again. Slept until 6:30. Oh well. I didn't make it to the gym last night either because I went and rented a storage unit, transferred the junk from my car into it, and went back to my room to eat. After eating, cleaning up, and talking to the family, it was too late to go to the gym.
Better luck tonight, maybe? I have nothing to do tonight, so I think I will make it. I've got the gym bag all packed in the car. I hope the outdoor pool is open. I'd love to go swim after my workout and just sit on one of the lounges and enjoy the evening out by the pool. Then I can go to the sauna for a bit then hit the showers. That should take about 3 or 4 hours out of my evening!
My food journal has been interesting this week. My fat, sodium and cholesterol have been low and my fiber and protein have been high. I have been far under calories, as well. I can't wait to get back on the scales and take my measurements. I am pretty excited about that.
I spent all morning creating a report for a client and just discovered that I have been using the wrong version of Crystal. That sucks. I've got to do it all over again because 10 is not backward compatible to 8. Dang I hate doing that. They should have told me I was supposed to use an older version of the software. At least Crystal Reports development is something I enjoy doing. It could be worse. But, now that I have done it once, the challenge of successful creation is gone. Now it will be boring.
Food Total: 1683 cals
Today has been really slow. They say that it gets like that sometimes, but that all hell will break lose later--most likely. They do not have a formal training program for new consultants. That is good. I know how I learn best and training programs usually are not "best" for me.
Everyone I have met so far has been awesome. And very quirky. I love it.
I tried really hard to eat nothing but whole foods but I am finding that very difficult with the culinary resources available at my extended stay. So I have decided to use Lean Cuisine as my base and add protein and veggies to each meal. It is not exactly whole, but it will work. I need to nourish my body without stinking up my 15 X 20 ft. room. One skillet, one pot, one steak knife, a couple plates and bowls, a two-burner stove top and a microwave don't do much for me. I have never eaten frozen meals more than once or twice per year, so this will be an interesting experience.
I love the gym. I love it more every single day. It seems there are a bunch of people who prefer the posh accomodations of the women's locker room to their private facilities at home. I may have to keep going to the gym in the mornings, even after we move. It is really nice.
The scale at the gym had me up over 300 lbs on Monday. I am going to go with their number as I will be using that scale in the future. It seriously didn't bother me to record a higher weight in CK until the check-in analysis said "Weight Gain" and suggested that maybe I wasn't counting my calories correctly. That P'd me off a smidge. But just for a moment.
I'm probably back under 300 right now but I slept through the alarm and didn't get to the gym this morning. I'm going to go after work--again.
Update: I tried to give up coffee on Monday as I fear being dependent on anything and do this to myself periodically. To make a short story even shorter: bad idea. I'm not having withdrawals, but I am very tired. I suppose it could be due to the increased workout, lower carbs, and a new place...but it is more fun to blame it on not having coffee. So I caved a little bit ago and got an iced mocha. All better now. I know it is completely psychological, but man it tasted
GOOD.
Food Total: 1624 cals
Exercise Minutes: 112 mins
So far, so good. I really like San Antonio. I signed the lease on the new house today. Got all of the utilities scheduled to get turned on.
Everyone is leaving the office so I guess that means no working late today. Off to the gym for me.
Food Total: 1766 cals
Exercise Minutes: 75 mins
Today I am going to start upping the protein intake for my little three week "experiment." I don't eat a lot of carbs, but I am going to reduce them, anyway. We'll see how it goes. Even if there is no change, I won't be discouraged as the purpose of this experiment is to keep my mind and heart distracted so that I don't miss, or worry about, my family too much while I am gone. If I am busy from the time I wake up until I go to sleep (alone and without hugs and kisses), it will make the weeks pass very quickly. This is how I deal with temporary stress--make myself too busy to have time to think about it.
I thought I would enjoy the time of no family responsibilities, but that is NOT what I am feeling. With family responsibilities comes coffee in the morning with my hubby while I watch the sunrise, my little one coming out of bed every morning, all warm from sleep, and curling up on my lap while he hugs me, eating meals with my boys, watching my son get out of the car and go off to school every day, cuddling with hubby in bed at night...I better stop before I convince myself I shouldn't go.
I emptied out all my drawers so that I can have everything I need. I feel like I am moving out of my home and it is very unsettling. But, it will be okay. I'll probably have a good cry on the way out, but that's okay, too. This sucks.
Today is personal training at the gym. She almost had me in tears last weekend. If she frustrates me this time, with my already fragile emotional state, the tears WILL be flowing. I hope it doesn't turn out that way. I wouldn't be embarassed, but she would likely feel responsible, and that wouldn't exactly be true. If I didn't have this deeply-ingrained need to not waste money, I would cancel the appointment.
Update: Personal training was, well, more personal today. She had her act together with things I could do. The scale was fixed and said I was back up to 300 lbs. I don't buy it. I think most of it is the shoes. They are noticeably heavier. If not the shoes-WHATEVER! I'm so not worried. I'm about to switch scales, to the scale in Lifetime Fitness, anyway. Their's is digital--and the digital display is up near the ceiling in plain view of every single woman in the locker room. I must get over that!
I am of to San Antonio in about 2 hours. Don't know what the week will bring, but I'm looking forward to the challenges awaiting me!!!
Food Total: 1964 cals
Exercise Minutes: 55 mins
The scale was broken at the gym this morning so I checked in with my last known weight. I only registered 1/2 inch loss this week. Seriously, though, I doubt my measurements are very accurate or consistent anyway. I mean, how accurately can I really measure myself? It doesn't bother me too much. I know it's probably all wrong and as long as the trend is a downward one, I don't care how precise it is (or isn't in this case).
My new shoes were awesome. Worth every single penny! They are like long, warm, soft hugs for my feet!
I've got a billion things to do today so I am outa here.
Update: All the books are packed and in the garage. The bookcases are out. The guest bedroom is out (except the matress). Tomorrow hubby is packing up all non-essential kitchen equipmet and we will stack it out in the garage, as well. Our goal is to get evreything without fabric out there so that the house shows better and to make the loading of the moving truck go that much more quickly. We have three weeks. That is plenty of time.
Food Total: 2191 cals
I was notified at 10:30 am that the company will hold my final paycheck until all company equipment is returned. The check had already been prepared and the office manager was holding it hostage.
WHAT THE HECK WAS I DOING THERE THEN?As soon as I got back from the 80 year old gyn, I packed up my laptop and skipped all the way to the office manager's office where I exchanged a laptop for a check in which they did not hold taxes or health insurance.
EXTRA MONEY. Woohoo. That will come in handy. This has been extra money week for me. We're over $2k...and counting.
I am going to go slip into something more comfortable and go find some good running/cross training shoes that will not kill my poor feeties. There is a running store not too far fom here that I was told about.
Update: Wow, that was a pretty cool experience. The runner's store had this little electronic device that you stand on and it evaluates your feet and pressure points, etc. Then the guy watched me walk up and down this isle a couple time. Then, he brought out several pairs of shoes for me to try and had me walk in them so that he could see if they were any good for me. I found a pair that I loved. They are the most comfortable shoes I've ever had on my feet.
Oh, and the electronic device said my shoe size was
13.5 Wide in women's. lol. I have ape feet. I can't wait to try them out tomorrow at the gym!!!
More: I start my new job on Monday and moving day is May 27th. We will be very busy until then. I'm going to do my best to keep up with my food diary and blog, but even if I can't, I am going to continue to treat my body well and pick up the rest of the stuff when we get settled in San Antonio.
Food Total: 1842 cals
Exercise Minutes: 95 mins
Gosh, tomorrow is my last day at work. Everything seems kind of surreal right now. I can't believe that I've got to leave my family to work for three or four weeks. I think we are all prepared for it, but I have never been away for more than 5 days. We are surrounded by wonderful neighbors and friends who are going to help us through this transition because they love us. What more can you really ask for in life than to be surrounded by awesome, supportive people?
I am taking a very large financial risk right now that I hope doesn't end up the "bad" way. I am fine with risk, except when it involves my money. That is much more difficult for me. I am taking this risk because I have faith that this is the right thing to do, even though it doesn't make a whole lot of financial sense. I am an accountant and that makes this risk even harder. But, I feel at peace with the decision, as logic-defying as it may be. Like I told my Mom when I was first notified of my lay-off, I will rely on my faith until it fails me.
Oh, I just now recalled this: I can remember several years ago (right around Christmas) I was short on money, but I felt strongly that I should tithe at my church. Actually, I felt more like I was going to explode if I didn't tithe. I wrote a check for almost every penny I had left in my checking account and wondered how I was going to make it until the next paycheck. The next day I went to go see one of my clients that I had an awesome relationship with (that went to the same church I did, by the way) and he gave me a check for a "Christmas Bonus" that was five times what I had given the church the day before. God always provides. You would think I would "get it" by now and not get stressed out about this kind of thing. I also remember, after he had given me the check, I shared with him what I had done at church the day before and it almost brought us both to tears.
And I am still worried? Go figure. I'll "get it" some day...I promise I will.
Update: My size 20 slacks are really starting to feel quite nice. Not snug anymore and I can get my hand comfortably in the waist. I betcha I could go suck myself into 18's right about now. Even though they wouldn't be comfortable, at all. But I bet I could do it! And just having that knowledge makes me feel good. I have some 16's hanging in the closet. I'm not going to buy any 18's. These 20's will stay up long enough for me to get into the 16's.
Some good news on the financial front--my tenants need to stay EVEN LONGER than they thought, so that means even more money I wasn't expecting. They are paying me rent weekly, now. LOL. They are hoping their house will pass inspection on Monday and that they can close on Friday. Maybe they'll just give in and finish out the month there. That would be VERY good for us. Although I'm not sure their mental health could take that many more setbacks.
Food Total: 2001 cals
Exercise Minutes: 65 mins
I think I spent from 3:00pm yesterday until 5:50am today in a coma. I don't remember much of it. I can't remember a time in recent history that I was THAT wiped out. Tigger was back with a vengence this morning, though!!!
I decided to skip out on work today and take care of some personal business since I will be out of town for the next month. I dropped off "the boys" and went to the gym for a little cardio since I slept through yesterday's planned exercise. I've made some phone calls, ordered new glasses since I will be losing vision insurance, and I should try to find a gyn. to go to this week. Got lots more to do, too. Better get to it!
Update: Got the appointment for Friday at 9:30am. They don't speak good English but they were the only ones with an appointment available this week. What do I care what language they speak, as long as they understand "Yasmin." It wasn't Spanish, though. I think it was German. This will be fun!
Yesterday we went to the Olive Garden. I ordered fetuccini and that junk stayed in my stomach ALL DAY LONG. Cross that one off the list of favorites from my former life. Never again. If I keep going at this rate, I'm not going to like anything unhealthy soon! Should I be sad? LOL
Food Total: 2038 cals
Wow. I just logged what I ate yesterday since I was on the road ALL DAY LONG. I was at 1400 calories and I didn't even try to do it. I just fed my body what it wanted. KEWL.
San Antonio was pretty. We found a nice house for not a lot of cashola. The school was awesome and I signed up at Lifetime Fitness...I was bored...that place is the most awesomest place in the world. I'm in love. Going to 24 Hour Fitness today is going to suck. LOL.
I gave myself two cups of Kashi Go Lean Crunch this morning. We tried it for the first time. I seriously don't think I am going to be hungry until sometime next week. Geez, that stuff is filling. One cup from now on....It was better than I expected it to be, though. Nice...........
I'm not sure what I have going today, but I know I must stop by to see a co-worker so I will go do that.
Update: I am so completely exhaused. 100%. I'll be surprised if I make it until 5:00 today. My purse was too heavy to carry so my hubby had to carry it for me. I dropped the salad tongs twice while trying to get my salad at the restaurant. My feet hurt from these retarted shoes that don't fit right. I am struggling to stay awake. I want to go to the gym tonight, but my body says bed. Stupid body...you're always ruining my fun. So.Tired.
Food Total: 1406 cals
Exercise Minutes: 62 mins
I like San Antonio.
:LOVE: Lifetime Fitness :LOVE:
